175: "I'm very happy in my role as a mother and as a spouse. But I always wanted more for myself." Macu Mateo's Journey In Building A Work-Life Balance

Jen Amos 0:00

Awesome. Let me just make sure I have my notes. I'm trying to have my notes in front of me. And it kind of I'm trying to also make it look like I'm looking at the camera. Kind of. It's not perfect, but I try. All right. All right. All right. Well, I am so excited for today for season seven of holding on the Fords by us by wealth, because I get to reunite with someone I had met well, over a year ago, at the I'm always gonna butcher this at the Disney Institute's veteran Institute's summit in Florida at Disney World. moku Mateo. And I gotta tell you, I just remember, we were like, at a restaurant at the animal kingdom. And toward the end, I feel like we like we didn't really talk till the end. But when we did, we talked basically till closing when everyone started to leave. So without further ado, moku Welcome to hold down the fort.

Speaker 1 0:55

Thank you so much for having me. Yes, yeah.

Jen Amos 0:59

Yeah, I feel like it's been some time. And actually, I am excited to have this conversation because we wanted to have you in season six, like we even had a pre interview and everything. And so but I think it was meant to happen in this fashion. Because holding on the fourth proceeding for season seven has is a lot more, I would say like focus and I think really aligns with who you are today, because I know that you have made a lot of improvements into your own business, which will, which we will get to in our conversation today. But before we do moku, I have some interview questions here. And I would love for you to pick one by picking a number between one and five. So pick a number

Unknown Speaker 1:41

number two,

Jen Amos 1:42

two. Okay, so we'll go with this question. All right. All right. So moku What is your go to karaoke song? Oh, man.

Speaker 1 1:51

Well, there is one that I had fun a few months ago when karaoke with my friends and my husband. And since nobody knows the lyrics, because they're in Spanish, but everybody knows what that is. So I sing the Macarena, because I'm from Spain. So I know all the lyrics in Spanish. So like, everybody's like, Well, yeah, of course. I do know. Everybody has fun with that. And I don't feel seeing that. I don't see it that well, but at least people just have fun.

Jen Amos 2:33

Yeah, that is such a fun like party song also, because like, I think everyone I know, knows the moves. It's so easy. You just use your hands. And then eventually you're at your hands and up on your hips. You shake your hips, and you turn around and you do it all again. Like it's fun. I love it. I love it. Yeah, well, thanks for sharing that. And I think that's awesome. i You're definitely the first person who's told me that you can sing that song in its entirety. Because I just feel like I said, when it comes to that song, more about the dance than it is about actually doing the lyrics.

Unknown Speaker 3:04

Yeah. Which is fun to

Jen Amos 3:07

know. Absolutely. Well, I It's so funny, because I have some friends recently asked me, like what was like, what was my favorite, like, my favorite good karaoke songs. And I've had I've had like, a little karaoke song in my notes on my phone forever. And I call I was calling I've already call it I was collecting it throughout the years, because in the past, I used to go to karaoke stuff all the time with friends. And I never wanted to be blindsided. Like I always wanted to come prepared. So I actually have like a list. I have a list of songs, like go to Song areas, and yeah, and so I haven't used them in years. But I think I think I'm starting to develop like friends here locally, where they they're the kind of people who would want to go to a karaoke bar. So at least I'm coming from here. But anyway, it's a long list. I won't get into it. But just know that I would be prepared if ever you and I went karaoke.

Unknown Speaker 3:59

Yeah. It's so fun.

Jen Amos 4:02

though. That's my go to song. Awesome. I love it. Well, um, yeah. moku I'm so excited to realize I mentioned I'm really excited to get into your life today. Speaking of which, give us a quick snap of your lap to our listeners who are meeting for the first time, especially because your husband recently transitioned out of the military.

Speaker 1 4:23

Yes, so my husband retired from the Navy after 24 years. Recently, I would say March was his last day as active duty. And it's, it's different. It's definitely different. We We've been married for nine years now. And we have three kids and we we lived overseas North Carolina and now we're here in Pensacola where he retired and for right now we're staying put for a little bit. We don't know what's coming but so right now he found Good job in the civilian world. And so we're just staying here for a little bit, since we don't know what, but what else did it? It's hard to, it's hard to decide what to do when you know, everything that's been given constantly, you know, as a military family, so. So as of right now things are working out where we are. So we're staying here for a little bit.

Jen Amos 5:27

Yeah. And you know, I think it's great for you three, both to slow down and not have to rush yourselves into deciding where to go next. Because I know part of your story is you had met your husband when he was well, a little over a decade into his service already. And, and life sped up for you. You know, I know that you mentioned in our offline conversations, how you had like three kids back to back every two years. And it just seemed like, like, there's just no time to slow down. So it must be quite a surreal feeling having spent, you know, the the recent months this year to like, not feel rushed to do anything. I imagine that must be an interesting experience for you.

Speaker 1 6:10

It has been definitely different. Just thinking about like, not having to move again. Yeah, it kind of gives me a little bit of an anxiety because we're so used to it. And yeah, we can have like, you know, settling here or, you know, even though we've been leaving here for four and a half years, but it hasn't never felt like home home because we everything was temporary being in the military, right. So now that it's like kind of a decision to stay here. Things feel a little scary. Like, you know, slow down like that. But as I said, it's it's been working out for us. So we're happy about it, you know?

Jen Amos 6:56

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that I think that's definitely an interesting way to describe it. And I think it's very valid. When I think about my own upbringing, having been a military kid for the first three years, or first 10 years of my life and moving around quite frequently. I felt like once we did get settled somewhere, even though we were physically settled, I mentally wasn't settled. Like, I just felt like a lot of my life afterward, into my adult life, I felt like I always had to do some kind of transition. Like, even if like, it wasn't needed, it just felt like I had this internal clock to like, have to start over and so and so now, you know, fast forward to today. I'm very much in that headspace of like, okay, I just want to settle. Like, I just, I just want to aspire for that. Because, like, I don't know what that looks like what that feels like. And, you know, I'm here saying this as someone who has been far removed from the military for 20 years now. And I think that, you know, part of why I love doing holding down the fort. And, and hearing people people's stories such as yourself is, you know, kind of recognizing that I'm not the only person who has experienced that. And, you know, for you and your family that is that is quite fresh, I would say and I'm curious how your, your kids are handling it.

Speaker 1 8:10

Um, well, my kids are very young, my oldest is only seven. And my, so I have 375 and three. So there are still like, really not aware of things, per se. So they haven't really changed. I mean, they haven't noticed that much to change. Because, you know, my we've been living here for as I said, four and a half years. So my oldest was only three when we got here. So for her feels kind of like home, we've been going to the same church, we've been going the same parks, the same restaurant, I don't know, like, it feels a little bit like home for her, you know? And it's funny, because sometimes she takes a southern accent like all of us, honey, you know, we're right next to Alabama. And yeah, like, no, in this southern accent, we're not from here, you know, but she, she's kind of from here, you know, all three of them. So it's, it's odd, but for them, it's not it was that big of a deal. The retirement, definitely the transition, they felt it because there were some tensions at home. My husband was at home for a long period of time, you know, a few months in between, you know, a terminal leave when finding a new job and such and such. So they so that, you know, there were some changes going on. My husband is not wearing his uniform anymore, you know, so it's different, but at the same time I don't think they know they understand fully what's going on.

Jen Amos 9:47

Yeah, absolutely. So they seem to be fine so long as they're watching the movie or they're in school. Yeah, definitely. No, I love it. You know, so a lot of a lot of your the last real have, you know, decade of your life or for as long as you've been with your husband, at least a lot of your life has been about his career. And for you being a mother, and I know that when we spoke on offline, as much as you love being both, you were also hungering for something more like something to add to your life. So, so tell us about that longing, you know, that you had experience? And what did you find? What did you find when you when, when you when I guess that longing kind of met, what you were looking for?

: 10:32

Mm hmm. So, I'm definitely, you know, like, I love being married. I love being a mom. And, you know, I didn't fully understand what it meant to be a military spouse, you know, when I married my dad, but I knew that I was just going to be an accessory of his life, you know, of like, okay, you're gonna be going there, because his work and I will never have a say about it, you know, it's, it was mostly, you know, which is accept it as a couple, and we, you know, just put off our more, and let's go for it, you know, like, we were both together with a new challenge, right. And when I became a mom, we few months later, we moved to North Carolina. So it was a new duty station. I didn't know anybody I was coming from Spain. I didn't know English very well. And I knew the American culture, but it wasn't the same as where I was, because I was in Orlando first. And then, you know, North Carolina to Florida, they're quite different, you know, so, yeah, culture and everything. So, that was a little challenging, because it felt very lonely. And, but at the same time, you know, I still wanted to be a mom, I do want to go to play dates, and, you know, try to get out there because I'm very social, I can just be at home, you know, so. And then so I was and then that had my second baby and, and I was doing all this playdates, I was trying to, you know, be active in the, you know, in church, and in the library and all doing trying to do all these things and still be a stay at home mom. And, and I was talking to my friends, and I was like, did you feel like you're missing something? You know, like, yes, we're caring for children. And there were mostly all Muay Thai spouses, as well. So, everybody's like, I'm fine. You know, like, I'm very happy in my role as a mother and as a spouse. And, and as, like, I loved being both of those things. But I was, like, always wanted more for myself, because I was like, 24/7 just giving, giving, giving, which is a wonderful, wonderful thing, but I still felt like, I was not 100% Happy for myself, you know? So that's when I started, like, okay, what can I do, and I started doing things more for myself, not entirely, you know, not thinking about business or making money, but it's, like, trying to find things that I would I would enjoy for myself, you know, so that helped a lot. And then another move another PCs, Camelon, another baby came along, and I just, like this feeling of, you know, an ease that I had, like, I need to do something for myself. And then I found, you know, I have an idea, you know, it came back an idea that I had for a few years that I loved organizing, and I love, you know, doing all things organizing, so I just started reading and how to make my own business and about entrepreneurship, about, you know, how to be a professional organizer, how to be a CEO, how to, you know, all these things. And then once I started, I just couldn't stop. It was just, like, one thing after another was like, everything that was like sparking this flame in me that like, I just like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then, and this is, you know, I'm talking 2020 I had my last baby, march 2020. You know, like, right when COVID started, and, and just a few months, my youngest was an infant. And I started with this idea, and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. So there was no classes going on, because everything was COVID Everything was shut down. So I was like, with my computer, just researching, researching, researching, researching, and I trying to find things online that I can have, you know, even like YouTube videos or book to business classes, and all these things that I was like, I just need information because first of all, I had no idea about entrepreneurship. You know, I didn't know anything about you You know, what an LLC was, because I knew about how to create a business in Spain, maybe, you know, but not here, you know, so it's like, the legality of it, I had no idea. So there was a lot of things that it was just pure research, you know, and but at the same time, I was just like, so eager to learn about all that, because I finally thought, like, I can do this, you know, yeah, and still be a military spouse and still be a mother, you know, because I found that doing it, you know, doing it for myself, but also having that flexibility of like, okay, my family needs me now, you know, or I can divide my time in between, you know, being a military spouse, being a mom, and also have that good outlet where I can feel very, very fulfilled, and, you know, all my creativity, and everything can channel to that area, you know, so it was definitely a challenge, because the circumstances were not ideal. With three kids at home, because they didn't have school, the school shut down. My husband was teleworking, so we were all five of us in a teeny tiny house. And we and, you know, with no home office, I had my laptop in just a corner of the living room, you know, with all three kids just yelling all day, you know, and so, I would just spend like the nights once all the kids are down for sleep, you know, like, I will spend the whole night just researching and learning and such and most nights, I will go to sleep at two, three o'clock in the morning, just, you know, but I was that feeling of like, I want to do this, you know, like, and I couldn't stop, you know, and just a few months later, I opened my own my own LLC, I had my first claim, and I came home with such a huge smile on my face. Like, I was like, in a cloud, you know, and then, like, I felt awful, because all three of my kids were crying when I left the house, like Yeah, I came home. And I was like, so, so happy. You know, I was, like, feeling like, I want to do this for the rest of my life. Like, I absolutely love doing it, you know, and it's like, I haven't had that beans in forever, you know. So it was definitely despite all the late nights, and despite all the difficulties, it was, like, I knew from that moment on that, like, it was all worth it, you know?

Jen Amos: 17:43

Yeah, I love that so much. And I love that desire for you to like, once you figured out what it was, which is for you, it's organizing, you really went down this rabbit hole, you did a ton of self education, a ton of online research, up until the point that you're able to build your create your LLC, and have your first client and come back feeling like yes, this was this was all worth it. Like all the all the nights that I stayed and all the, you know, sleepless nights, if anything, because I gotta still wake up with kids and do all the things that I need to do as a as a wife and as a mother. And, and you know, when I when I think about your trademark who it is, I think of like, like I think a jar so think about like a jar, and in the jar, you're you're placing in big rocks, each box represents like important things in your life, right? Like your, you know, your husband in his career. And then your kids, you know, the three separate big rocks, and they're very big rocks, probably bigger than your husband. And then and then the other little thing, like all like little rocks that will fit in the jar. That could be other responsibilities that involve the household or any, you know, spontaneous things that may come your way. And then, and then your business became the water that you put in the jar that surrounds everything else. And like the beautiful thing about water is it's flexible, right? Like it, it'll fit into spaces that are available for it. And I feel like that's what your business was. It's like nothing was better than it was most it was very Yes, and tuition, how you're able to, like find something such such as professional organizing, to, you know, fit into this life that you have this crazy, busy life that you have. And I think just really, in a sense is also like sugar on top of your life that you're fulfilling. And it all fits in this jar that is of moku and, and I love Yeah, and so I love that and I love how you found that way and and that desire and you persevered to, you know really make this something for you. And I know it's been a couple of years since you've been running your business now. And I know that part of your experience. I remember when I met you even just two years ago, that was no last year it had to be last year last year last last year. Okay. That was last year. And I remember, you know, we were all meeting for the first time, including Stephanie Brown from the Rosie network. And, you know, I know that you mentioned to me that you actually decided to look into the Rosie network and go through their program. So tell us about what that experience was like for you and your business.

: 20:17

So I'm actually, you know, when I met you, this was the first time I missed Stephanie as well. And even though we, I talked to her before over the phone and such, but like, it was the first time meeting her in person and I, and, you know, her energy's just like, out of this world, you know, like her how passionate she speaks about intrapreneurship and military spouses and such and such, you know, and so, I got to talk to her, and it's like, why would you suggest, like, I don't know what to do, you know, because one thing is, like, knowing about the activity of the business, but then on the business side of it, you know, all this technical technicality I didn't know about, you know, what I can neither like, just to define it a little better, you know, so she's, like, straight up, she said, like, go through the service to see your program and your, you'll see how great, you know, and how much he's going to help you with that, you know, in that sense. And I did the moment I, I could fit that in, in my schedule, I apply, I got in, and oh, man, it was stressful. At first. It was stressful, because I felt like, you know, on top of, as you said, all my big rocks and my water, and you know, the jar was like, overflowing. felt a little overwhelmed, but because it was all this new information, new concepts I was trying to learn, you know, and not only that, it was like, for me to think a lot about my business, you know, so it was not only all this new concept, but like, had to put a lot of thought into it. And, you know, a lot of thinking, and so anyways, that's the first two or three weeks were a little overwhelming, but after that, it was it was a good overwhelming, because he was, you know, kind of figure out what reset home is, you know, and what I want it for it to be, you know, so everything that I had to do, I had in the past two years kind of helped me all that experience kind of helped me. Really, you know, it just it was they were asking me, the specific the, let me see if I can word this correctly. But they were asking me the right questions in the right order. You know, yeah. So it was like, okay, so what do you want on this? And then the next question is like, Okay, why? And then, you know, so it was like, helping me kind of, like crumble all of it. And then just yeah, in order in a way, just like, Oh, totally makes sense. You know, like, that's exactly what I've been wanting to do. It just, I didn't have the word words to express that, you know. So it kind of like completely crumble what it was my business to put it just in the right order in the best way possible. You know?

Jen Amos: 23:27

Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. So it's like, they broke you down, so they can build you back up?

: 23:35

Definitely. And it was, you know, all this new concept that I had no idea. Like, I knew what I kind of knew what I wanted, but they kind of that they helped me guide all these thoughts they already had.

Jen Amos: 23:48

Yeah, yeah, no, that's amazing. I really like hearing about how they presented questions and challenges and suggestions in an order that really helped you unpack what you really want out of your business, what your messaging was going to be, you know, to the point where, you know, at the end of it, you know, you're able to have this clear messaging and plan, and all that stuff. And so that, that's like, that's really great to hear. And I think it's very valid, that you know, the first two weeks would be overwhelming, in addition to like, the life that you're already living, and I'm just glad that you stuck it out. I hear quite often that sometimes the people you start with aren't the same people who end up you know, graduating and you know, that happens life happens it's completely understandable. But I commend you for having you know, stuck it through and you know, here you are today, you know, who you are today, running your business and I would say what is the biggest difference now in your business than then before you were part of the service to see oh program?

: 24:52

I would say how I present reset home to people, you know, that Like, because before it was like, Yeah, I do organizing like, don't you know? Do No, no, you know, so, it's a good way for me to reassure on the idea of my business so I can communicate it to other people the best way, you know. So that helped a lot. And it kind of, with all of that, you know, I was able to rearrange my entire website and you know, worded property, you know, kind of have a good elevator pitch, you know, and all these things that you think like, Oh, why would I need that? I do do need that, you know. So, it changed, it changed a lot. Because of this. Now, I have like, good foundation of

Jen Amos: 25:50

Yeah,

Unknown Speaker: 25:51

what reset home is,

Jen Amos: 25:52

yeah, what what would you say is your favorite thing to say to people? When, when asked about your business?

: 26:02

Um, about my business, or about me being an entrepreneur,

Jen Amos: 26:07

about the like, when people ask you about your business, like, what would you say, is like, your most favorite thing to say about it?

: 26:15

I would say that he helps people that struggles. So it's not just, you know, I want to be posh and have my home organized, you know, it's for like, actually makes an impact on people.

Jen Amos: 26:36

Yeah, yes. You know, I gotta say that in the last two years, I've been fortunate to work with organizers. And the first time around, though, it was a very emotional experience for me, because I was working with the person and I mean, they did a great job, like being objective, and like, kind of asking me Do you want to keep her donate? Like, it was like a decluttering process, first and foremost, because we had a lot of stuff. And that's the reason why we hired her, but I gotta say, it's like, it's a very, it was a very therapeutic, emotional process to, like, start off with that. And then now with where my husband and I are currently living, we decided to get organizers again, this time around, it was a lot easier, because I went through that practice of like, you know, being okay, with, like, letting go of things, you know, and all that. And so, I'm curious, what free in your case, what what do you enjoy the most about, you know, helping your clients? Or, or if anything, I guess another question. And you can pick either one ask, you know, what, what do you most of your clients come to you for, in regards to your services.

: 27:44

Um, I think the, the kind of clientele that I attract is people that, for whatever reason, they are not in a good mental space to make those kind of decisions. So I enjoyed the most, when I can see that, you know, black cloud that they have in their, in their heads, you know, start to like, disappear little by little, you know, and by the time I'm, you know, leaving them down with a session, they're just like, you know, this huge burden off their shoulders, you know, and it's like, now I can breathe. Just other day, I had a client and she said, like, she she was telling me about a conversation she had with a friend. And this is a recurring client. And she said, like, this friend of hers, asked her, like, what's your best therapist that you had over the years? And she said, like, my best therapist has been Michael Michael coming to my house and organize my home. It's been the best therapy I have ever had, you know, and I don't know. I mean, like, she feels that way. But I do feel like, you know, that instant reward of like, okay, you know, my house is organized, I can move on to things that are more important to me or, like, now I can feel at ease in my own home, you know, so yeah, this organization and mental health are completely linked. And people don't realize how much of you know, that black cloud the forests in your head when you're surrounded by mess or clutter? You know?

Jen Amos: 29:31

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I want to make a comment about what you said earlier that most people when they think organizing, like the first assumption is that oh, you're just being posh. And you're just you're going to have like, a beautiful presentable home. I will tell you, one of the things I like about our new home being organized is that whenever my husband like asks me like, where is something like he can find it now? Like, because we have labels on things, and like I'm not the only one that knows where everything is, you know? Oh, it's like, I can look at a pile and I'll still know where everything is. But now that it's organized, it's like, it's like, Oh, I found it, you know, like, in the other room, I found it. And I was like,

: 30:09

Yeah, I get. It's true. It's true. And I tell all my clients are, you know, moms and they have, you know, a whole family and stuff. And it's like, this is not about, you know, like, this is going to help you be a little less, you know, that head of the family of like, controlling everything, because now that, you know, this kid can knows where their toys, their clothes, their possessions are, you know, so they're how they can be a little more responsible of their own things, you know. And so that goes the same with the husbands know, they can be a little more responsible with their own things, you know, so yeah, exactly. And it helps the entire family.

Jen Amos: 30:53

Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. I think it's more about, you know, just having a more effective, productive home, because like, everyone knows where everything is. And yeah, like I say, whenever whenever Scott says, Oh, I found it, Nevermind, it's like, it's so great. It really makes me happy. I don't have to get up and like help him work from stuff. It's great. But well, obviously, it it sounds like you, you know, really enjoy what you do. And you love seeing not just the physical transformation of a home I imagined, but also like the, the mental transformation or like the reaction you see on your clients faces when, you know, they feel like this burden has been lifted off their shoulders, and the Dark Cloud is lifted, and they just have so much more clarity and hope. And even though you're not a licensed therapist, like hearing your clients say, like, you know, what my best therapy was working with moku testament to, you know, the work that you do, and for anyone for anyone that, let's say is afraid to hire someone such as you, because maybe they're insecure about how their house looks like or maybe the possessions they have, like, what do you want to say to those people?

: 32:06

I say, I've seen worse. And also, not only in, in clients houses, but sometimes my house gets messy too, you know, because this is life, you know, my house is not perfect. 24/7 Because I have a husband, I have three kids, and you know, and life goes on and when they after another and sometimes you don't have the energy, you don't have the emotional mental space for it, you know? And it's fine. It's okay, you know, I have to find a lot of my own desire for perfection, because that is not been happy, you know, like, striving for perfection, because then I can't live in my own home. Neither my kids or my husband, you know, yeah. So it's a house, and a home has to be a place where you live and where you are, and it's you and your family, you know? So yes, sometimes that's get crazy and overwhelming and messy, and it's okay. And that's why people call me, you know, because I see them in their struggle, because I've struggled before too, you know, and it's completely fine. And always, always, always is, you know, just be non judgmental, you know, have their, their struggles. And, and I'll you know, they can have different opinions, I can force I can't force people to get rid of things, even though I think like, you don't need this. But at the end of the day, is their decision, Is there things in I'm there to guide them and respect their things and help them in the best way possible.

Jen Amos: 33:47

Yeah, and I think it's great to have like a third party person, such as yourself, because you have no attachment to any of the items. So I think that, you know, when I think about the organizers I've worked out, I've worked with I've really appreciated their unbiasness and it's really just asking the objective questions like Is this you know, is this sentimental for you? Or is it is it useful anymore? And then if it's not, like, do you want to donate it or, you know, like my organizers recently they they put together all my sentimental items in like a box and I was like, Oh, I'm glad they did that because I wasn't ready to let go of those things just yet. So knowing knowing how to do things like that, too, I think is you know, it's it's amazing and it really does create peace of mind for you know, people like me, and I'm sure the clients you work with who live very busy lives and it is it does feel like a burden after a while to try to keep the house in order. While you know, in many of these cases, like having kids and having a busy home and, and all of that. So it is I think I think that more people need to know about professional organizers and you know, like the kind of services that you can offer and more importantly like the peace of mind you can give people at cuz at the end of the day, when everything is organized, it's like, now their home could be more efficient, you don't come home feeling like oh my gosh, like, you're not feeling overwhelmed, but you don't feel like you're coming home to let's say, like a second or third job or like the night shift, because you have to put everything everyone put everything away. So it's, it's an amazing service that that you do and, and more importantly, I'm also happy to hear that, you know, you found a profession that is flexible, you know, to your life. And, you know, if you if you and your family happened to move again, you know, you could definitely, you know, take that with you so, so it just, it just seems like you're in such a great place and in your life right now. And I just want to express how happy I am for you. Aku. And, yeah, and that being said, you know, now that now that you are where you are now I'm curious to know, what does sustainability look like for you now, you know, meaning, like, you know, where do you see your business going? And, and, and also, like, how do you sustain it? In the midst of everything in the jar that we so to speak over and talking about? Like, how do you sustain all that.

: 36:04

So it's it comes and goes, you know, motivation. It's not a straight line, you know, sand sometimes I feel like, you know, I can stay up until three o'clock in the morning working on my laptop, you know, in some days, I just spend like, the entire week not even checking my email, you know, and I'm okay with that, you know, I'm okay with it. And this, I just stay at home with my kids for a month and a half, because I wanted them to have a summer, you know, and I'm able to do that, because it's my own business, I decide what to do. Right. So yeah. And then I can also that I already have, you know, the kids go back to school this week, and I already have a month and a half booked of clients, you know, and I know that once I come back, it's just like four on, and I'm excited about it. But definitely, there is, as I said, it's not a straight line and always around, I think surrounding yourself with people that motivate you that I always like, I'm still looking for a good coach and, you know, good accountability partners and such. Because sometimes I feel like I want to do a lot of things, but I am in my the midst of my life, it's just hard to like, get it done. You know, and, but I'm not in a rush, I'm enjoying every step of it. And, and it's I'm okay as it is right now, even though I have bigger goals, and but I'm not in a rush. My kids are very young. And that that will always be my priority, you know, my family life. So I don't know, it just as I say it's just it's just something that I do have my goals. I do have bigger ambitions, but little by little one step at a time. There's no rush.

Jen Amos: 38:05

Absolutely, yeah, to me sustainability for you just sounds like, you know, staying the course when you're able to when you can when you want to. And, you know, I think that there's this weird notion about entrepreneurship that people are expected to dive in all the way and go 100% and constantly, Excel, Excel, Excel or fail fast as as we often say, and and if there's anything I've learned being self employed for the last 12 years, is that like you said, What's the rush like, I want to accommodate for life as well, I want I want to live my life, I want to have a social life, I want to have a sense of balance, I want to have an identity outside of what I do at work. And and so what's the rush because, you know, in your case, you're always going to have, you know, potential clients who are disorganized, that's always going to happen, people are always going to be moving on.

: 38:58

I mean, like, I mean, it's great for me for my business. Like, I know, the benefits of being organized. And I know that people's heads just don't work that way and it's fine. There will be always organizers like me to help them but it's, it's not as you say, like, there's no reason for me to rush. I don't Yeah, oh, my business, you know, I don't want it to do it like that, because I don't want to be working for the next 2030 years like crazy. And then you realize that my life has gone, you know, just working in I have enjoyed, you know, all the stages of my kids and I neglected my relationship with my husband, or my friendships or my you know, family. It's there's so many other things, you know, to just slow down, look around. There's much, much more to life and you know, normally intrapreneurship you know, in an entrepreneur journey, it's like for everybody that is where I can in any kind of field, like slow down people, like there's no reason, you know, here in the states in the, that's one of the things that I always see different from Spain to here. And there's a lot of people that, you know, that have lived in both places they mentioned is like, in Spain, we, we work to leave. And here in the states you live to work, you know, and there's like, sometimes just, you know, your life is much, much more than just, you know, a paycheck, you know, so the only reason I started working was because I love doing what I do, you know? Yeah. And, yes, I get paid for it. But, you know, that was like, the least interesting thing about it, you know? So, you know, what, yes, sometimes you have to take jobs that are not 100% what you like, you know, to provide and for your family. And, and that is a great sacrifice, right. But, you know, what, if you did what you love, you know, would you go, you know, wake up at seven o'clock in the morning, like, Yeah, I'm gonna do this, and this and this, and that, and it just feels like a whole different level of wanting to do things. And then when you get home, you feel very fulfilled with, yes, whatever. And then you're ready to take on the next thing, which is, you know, bath time with the keys their time and do 1000 under loads, you know? I don't know. It's just like, and then it comes the weekend and you don't feel like finally the weekend, you know? Yeah, yes, the weekend. Yes, you can do things that are different, but it's not all. It's not that. Go Go Go work, work, work. And then yes, paycheck, and then I'm just gonna spend all my money, you know, yeah, it's not like that. Just slow down. Enjoy life. There's much, much more than that, you know?

Jen Amos: 41:57

Yeah, I have a friend who is kind of a self proclaimed workaholic. And she has an answer. I haven't gotten an answer from her yet, because we're kind of like pen pals. And we send each other messages and get to it when we can. But like, one of the messages I had recently asked her one of the questions I recently asked her is, you know, like, what do you what do you like? And I'm not saying I didn't say it like this, but basically asked her, like, what are you working for? You know, like, what, what is the? Like, is there an end goal? Or is it like, just the do you just like the act of working, you know, and, and it is a very curious thing, because like, I mean, fortunately, like I do, I do enjoy a lot of the things that I do, and that's why I like working. Also, I like to have balance, like, I like to be involved in my church, I like to, you know, be I like to work out at my gym, I like to do a number of things where I can, like, you know, that still add to my life, and also has a social component to it. And sometimes I don't want to do anything, sometimes I just want to binge watch something on Netflix, you know, and, and, and so just being able to, like, give ourselves that balance. And I'm sure everyone has their reasons, like, you know, I know that for a lot of people, it's to provide for their families, or, you know, maybe you're just very career driven. And that's fine. I just, I guess I'm just always curious to know, like, what is the the end goal, like, even if it means to have a lot of money saved up for something? And it's like, well, what is that something for? And like, how much does it have to be, you know, for you to finally be satisfied. But anyway, these are all rhetorical questions, we're obviously not talking to those types of people in this interview, I'm just really happy to hear that for you. And you're even speaking from a cultural perspective, or it's like, hey, in Spain, we work to live not live to work. And I really like that, you know, you have found found that balance in the sense and you know, you know, what's most important for you, and for you, that's your kids, and that's your family. And really, your, your business is the sugar on top, or it's the water that wraps around everything else, like all around the rocks in the jar, that we keep referring to here. And, and I think that's great. I think I think it's a good lesson to learn. Because again, I feel like there's this weird notion that entrepreneurship has to be 1,000%. Like, you have to go in 1,000% and hustle and really show off that hustle life on social media. And the reality is, is like once you're in it, it's actually a little more boring than it sounds.

: 44:30

It's boring and sawston at the same time, because I've tried to say like, Okay, I'm gonna get involved in all these things, and, you know, networking and events and such and such and then all of a sudden, I realize like, No, I don't want this, you know, I don't want to do any of it, you know, and that's okay. But I had to try because I didn't know and I and I and it was not for me, and I can still do it. Every once in a while, you know, to just show my face and places but I, it was not working for me. So I decided to go and focus on what I do, which is what I enjoy, you know? So,

Jen Amos: 45:14

absolutely. And hey, you have reoccurring clients. So I think that speaks a lot. And I think that, you know, networking isn't always about, I mean, I think there's there's different seasons to networking, there's when you're first building your clientele. So yeah, it makes sense. Like you tell your friends or family or you go to networking events, and you do that. But I think once you start to have clients, and if you take care of your clients well enough, one, there'll be reoccurring, or they could be reoccurring, and two, they can refer business your way. And honestly, word of mouth marketing, I think is so much better than I mean, I still do everything else, like, you know, my, my husband and I, we are very, like, you know, omnipresent with our, with our marketing, you know, we're on all the socials, and we're doing the ads and all the things but, you know, we're also like, we also podcasts, and we also, you know, we but we also invest, we also invest time in nurturing the clients who already have and, you know, there's just a lot of ways to do it, but, you know, just show up to every networking event is, it can be exhausting. It's quite, it's actually very exhausting, actually,

: 46:15

for me queued up, we were like, Okay, if I attend to all this networking events, when am I actually meeting my clients? You know? I don't understand why all these people are doing here. You know, like, why aren't you working? At some point? You know, yeah,

Jen Amos: 46:31

yeah, I, I had a guy tell me a long time ago. And he it was like, it was at a networking event. And I'll never forget it, because I walked away feeling quite embarrassed. Like, I had, like, basically, like back then, like, over a decade ago, when I started, like networking and stuff, like I was networking to network, like, my main objective was to like, just grab coffee with people. But like, once I did put that on the calendar, I didn't really have an objective. Once I met with them, it was just like, Oh, I got them on the calendar. And it was like my whole mission to just meet them and get coffee with them. And I remember this one guy in particular, I had a meeting with him. And I realized I didn't know exactly why I wanted to meet with him. So and he's, he was very, he was very established in, in in our area at the time, and reputable and like, well known, and I just remember he said to me, and it's still stuck with me to this day, he said something like, you know, if you're always networking, like, like, how did he say it? He's like, if you're always networking, then you're not like, like, kind of what you said, like you're not growing your business. Like, if you're always networking, then you're not really getting anywhere. Because like you said, it's like, when will I actually have time to see my clients? You know, and and I feel like if you're always networking, you're not, you're not necessarily there for the right reasons. Because the whole purpose of networking is to grab coffee with people or to get clients but to just show up for the sake of showing up. It's kind of like, it's not as you know, it that can only get you so far, I think and there's only so many lunches you can you can buy, you know, and coffee you can buy and Oh, yeah.

: 48:07

Yeah, one thing that networking has taught me is to be more confident, you know, with my beans isn't, you know, like, there was no word helped me a lot and you know, develop all this foundation on what reset home is and how to communicate to people about what I

Jen Amos: 48:24

do. Yeah, but

: 48:28

you can learn that, but then, like, actually doing it and other thing, right. So like, yeah, getting putting myself out there and talking to people about my emphasis, and in different settings in different networking events. And, you know, it kind of helped me loosen up a lot, you know, on that, on that sense, you know, I've like, I'm more confident because I, I have watched since I started, honestly, like, in the beginning probably is something like I'm struggling or something because I didn't know how to put all these words together, you know, like, and now I'm like, much, much more confident. Like, you know, I can talk to people and I can I know how to do a good elevator pitch and, and then I can know, I know how to, you know, introduce myself to people just because, you know, and like, hey, this might be scarred I would love to, you know, if I see a future connection, hey, can we go have coffee together one day or, you know, so there's great things about networking when when you overdo it as everything else, you know, in life, you know, it becomes like, not so good. So

Jen Amos: 49:36

yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's good to everything is good in moderation, I think is what I'm hearing from you. Awesome. Well Miko before, or let me rephrase that. Well, Mark, I really appreciate you taking the time to share your story and share your journey and, you know, share what is most important to you and it really is sticking to me, like the employee pretence of working to live as opposed to live to work. So I do appreciate you, you know, sharing that, like, I'm gonna contemplate about that a little bit more. After our call, I want to make sure that you have shared everything you want to share about yourself your story, your business, to our career, military families, or those who have already transitioned, what else would you like to say to them, you know, as we start to wrap up here,

: 50:26

I would like to mention something that kind of stuck with me, since my husband retired. It's definitely a transition, and not only for the, for that duty member to, but also for the entire family, but I so a struggle in my husband, when he was trying to get not not to get by, like, once he will get an interview, you know, how difficult different is to, you know, present yourself as a, you know, Navy veteran than just, you know, to a civilian person, you know, like how you, companies in the civilian world are not aware of,

Jen Amos: 51:18

yeah, that huge, huge difference,

: 51:21

you know, and not only that, is that, you know, they don't know, this, you know, the person that after duty member that has retired, they don't know how to translate their expertise to the wording of, you know, civilian wording about resume and experience and all these qualities, and, you know, any, is, it was very shocking for me that, you know, he had in, you know, he, before he retired, he was in charge of hundreds of sailors, you know, and then the first job he got is, was with one of the very well known hospitals in this area. And it was a front desk job. And he just because, you know, can we have a family, you know, yeah, and, but it was like, I was very, very surprised, because they didn't see what he had to offer, even though he had an amazing resume, amazing experience, crazy amount of skills. And, you know, after 24 years in the Navy, me, like, doesn't have an amazing set of skills up to that, right. Oh, yeah. And, and this hospital, which, even crazier, they have one, they have won awards for military friendly company, you know, it's like, and now you're offering a 24 year old retired veteran, a front desk job, when he was, you know, in charge of hundreds of sailors by himself, you know, it's like how you know, and for me, the only thing that I thought it could change that is to have another veteran in the room, you know, every time you are interviewing a veteran to have another veteran in the room, because not only another veteran will understand what you're talking about, only another veteran can guide you through that process can make you feel 100% more comfortable, you know, and, you know, you can get where you need to be, and when you have to eat, you know, so I don't know is for me that I mean, now he quit that job, obviously, like two days in, he's like, When can I quit this job? You know, and it's true. It's like that sense of like, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing because I have much, much more to offer, you know, and it was, for me, it was like, I can't believe that this happens every single day to you know, years of years of experience in the military. And then like you come out and with very little knowledge of what it is to be out of the military because yes, they have classes and they have, you know, pamphlets and such but you don't really know what you're, you know what to expect. And then to suspect that you know, to find that it's a it's hard it was hard. Truth to face.

Jen Amos: 54:48

Yeah, yeah. Sounds like sounds like a very humbling experience to know of his background and you know, all the things that he used to do and all the people he used to lead, only for him to work with. Front desk job very it's kind of a very surreal like, did I just wake up from a dream and now I'm working I'm actually working a front desk job must have been a must be a very surreal experience. But it sounds to me that he was able to find another job. And I hope that he's, I hope that it's a better position for him more suitable to, you know, his experience and his background. And it actually reminds me of a previous guests that I interviewed shout out to Matt wood, where he actually tries to, he actually helps companies go from military friendly to military ready, you know, actually helping them understand the important, like the value that our veterans and military retirees have. But it is really interesting to hear firsthand and from your guys's experience that, you know, the average company, the average civilian company, knows so little about what it means to take on a veteran as an employee, despite them saying military friendly, it's probably just one of those, like, you know, diversity and inclusion things to check off the list, which, you know, I get it, like, you know, HR, like, there's a reason why we have HR to have those types of things and make sure you check off the boxes. And but then when it comes to the actual execution, it's like, it almost feels like, it's almost like he's tokenized in a way, you know, where it's like, oh, he's here, they checked it off, but like, what does that really mean? You know, like, it doesn't mean that he was gonna get like a, like a position that best suits, like, who he really is, and is experienced and everything. But nonetheless, I commend him for wanting to quit as soon as he got hired. Yeah, I'm just happy to hear that he is working another job that is better suitable for him. And, and that's good to know. And I appreciate you, you know, bringing bringing light to that and the realities of what, you know, corporate America, I guess, in a sense, like, still looks like and, and what, and kind of given the heads up, given the heads up to our military families and military retirees transitioning out? So So Thanks for that. moku

Unknown Speaker: 57:02

Yeah, of course. Thank you.

Jen Amos: 57:03

Yeah. All right. Well, look at that we covered so much today. And I know we're a little over time, so forgive me for going over a bit. But before we do get going, I'm curious if you had any questions for me, and then we will wrap up? And if you don't, it's okay. But I always feel compelled to asking.

: 57:22

I'm curious how you handle working with your husband? Cuz I don't think I could, I mean,

Jen Amos: 57:32

you are not the first person to ask me this question. And let me see it. Let me see how I can answer this differently. Um, that's a great question. Actually, I don't even remember how I answered it the first time. But, you know, I think for me, it's like, it's a lot of mental gymnastics, okay. It's a lot of like, okay, you're supposed to love me. But you I also, you also work with me. And it's like, you know, we, you know, we've been at this for, I'd say, like, seven years now. And the first, really the first five years was very much a learning curve for both of us, because we, you know, we both were already self employed before we met each other. And we were so used to working independently. And we were really not used to working with someone who had a similar mindset and, and lifestyle choice. So in a weird way, that was a learning curve to be with someone who, like shared that same value of, hey, we're self employed, we can pick our schedule, we can do all the things. So adjusting to that adjusting to something that I guess I didn't realize I deserved. Wasn't adjustment, you know, kind of like they say phrases like fear of your own success, or impostor syndrome or feeling like you don't deserve it. So it was kind of like it was it was kind of going over those mental shifts first, and then it was figuring out how to reframe. I'm gonna say this nicely, but it's not going to come off nicely. Figuring out how to reframe every time he annoyed me. And kind of like, okay, what is he really saying here? To not annoy me because, because the thing is, I am quite like linear minded, like, I'm not like perfectly systematic and methodical, but I am definitely more of that than my husband is he's very future focused, and he's the visionary of our business. And he, in my mind, I'm the kind of person that likes to build upon things were for him, he likes to dump everything on the floor and say, Okay, how are we going to do this? You know, like, what do you think? What about this idea of like a heaps throwing things on the ground, thinking that it's going to give me more clarity, and thinking that we're going to find something more efficient and all this and I'm all and I'm here just trying to like, you know, like, get get acclimated with all the things he threw on the ground and trying to decipher so. So it's been an interesting balance. Well, I guess I guess the key thing for us to work together and I will say today, like, I love working with him, it's great. You know, like, I genuinely enjoy it, I do have my moments, but for the most part, like, it just requires a lot of like knowing like what your needs are. And even if he cannot provide it, for example, like one thing I like to do is like, well, we'll record our power sessions, like are brainstorming sessions, and then I'm able to re listen to it and process it later. So like, kind of just knowing what your needs are coming into, like work meetings. And then, and then it's actually hard for me to make the shift from like, working with him to like, actually just enjoying him. Like, when we walk the dog, for example, or, you know, do something like we go to the gym together or do other, you know, just other activities like, like, it's like, I realized that when he wants to, like, let's say, oh, let's walk the dog and watch the sunrise in the morning, which is what we did this morning, which I never do, because I just, it's been too hot lately. And I just, I'm just not having it. But it happens, it happens to be just right this morning. And one thing I've learned is that when he is in that mindset to want to spend quality time in that way, like, I lean into it, even if I don't like it, like I don't like it initially. Because once I'm in it, and I see the sunrise, it's like, it just kind of puts everything back into perspective and helps me realize, like, you know what, it is really nice, like working with my husband, because I get, I get so much I get so much so many benefits for like, with like one person, you know, and it's so it's so great. It's such a gift to like to have all that and not have to like, I mean, yes, I have friends and you know, social circles and stuff. But to know that I can do a lot of things that already like that I enjoy in life with one person. It's fun, like it genuinely is. And so I guess that's how I deal with it. I don't know if the answer your question, but really taken a lot of mental mental gymnastics, and reframing and accepting and, and also knowing, like my needs to get to that place and also trusting him and how he wants to lead not just in our business, but in our relationship to be like, okay, like, Okay, I, I let go and let God it's kind of also like a phrase that I go as I was like, Okay, we'll see what happens, you know. And it's like, I don't have to control everything. I can just, I can just lean into it and trust. And, and it's, you know, trying to find that balance, but overall, like I'm a better person for it. And we put a lot of work into it. Like we had a friend the other day, say to us, like, because he's like, yeah, so he's like, he's single and but he's actively trying to like find someone and start a family and stuff. And he says to us, he's like, Oh, you guys are really lucky that you have each other. And then immediately I looked, I looked at Scott and I was like, well, we worked really hard on this. So like, just know that we didn't just like fall into each other's laps. Like we

: 1:02:51

are no, not just like, be lucky. I mean, yes, you're lucky to have the person but then he has to put in the work every single day.

Jen Amos: 1:03:00

Yeah, absolutely. And, and I will say because we did not have kids yet. Like, I think that that kind of helps. Because we were able to build a business first and like, you know, co parent to pets first. And, and I think at this point, it's like, okay, like, you know, I think that we are very ready, you know, to start a family because we already deal with the trials and tribulations of having run a business together for so many years. And, and we've moved a lot together as well. Not because of military just by circumstance. And there's just been a lot of like pivots in our life where, but we were able to manage it. And it's because of that, I think, okay, like, like, I think we're gonna be okay. And I'm, you know, I'm so excited to want to start a family with you. So pray for us. We're actively trying and, you know, yeah, and so, so all that and, but for them for now, you know, for now, in the meantime, it's really appreciating this time and recognize and, and really cherishing this time that I can do all these things with him before we add new responsibilities in our life, you know,

Unknown Speaker: 1:04:04

that's awesome. Yeah.

Jen Amos: 1:04:06

I love that. Yeah. Well, thanks for asking Mokou. I really appreciate it. And I genuinely want to thank you so much for your time. Thank you for being on our show. And I am just so excited to help our listeners get a lot of value from your story today. And with that, just thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure having you. Thank you, Jen. Awesome. All right, and then give me one second here. Oh, and