171: "You can take any idea, passion, hobby, or expertise, and build a PCS-proof business." Toria Demps' story from hair loss to helping others

Jen Amos 0:02

All right. And with that said, I am incredibly excited to have Toria. Dempsey on the show here for season seven of holding down the fort by us bet wealth and the Rosie network. Toria. Welcome to the show.

Unknown Speaker 0:14

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Jen Amos 0:16

Yes. I'm very excited to have you considering the offline conversation we have had, I'm very captivated by your story. And I'm just I just hope that I do it justice and highlighting it today in our conversation. But before we do, I do have an icebreaker question for you. I have five cards, I have five is that six. And that's five. I have five cards. And I'd like you to pick a number between one and five. And then I will pick the question. It's like it's gonna be completely random question that has nothing to do with this conversation. But it's fun so far. I find it's fun. So pick a number between one and five. All right, Dad,

Unknown Speaker 0:48

let's go with three,

Jen Amos 0:49

three. Okay, you are the second person to pick the middle card. That's awesome. Okay, so this one says, it says on a scale of one to 10 how messy is your car? You know, one being the cleanest and 10 being a complete disaster. And explain. That car came

Speaker 1 1:07

just at the right time because I actually tidied it up. So we're not there at a 10 because I do have a three year old but I'll give myself an eight.

Jen Amos 1:17

There you go. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Yeah, mine is like okay, what was the dirtiest the dirtiest was 10? like ours is like a 10.5. Because we have it just, it just is my husband, my dog. And that's kind of a actually, that's my, that's my biggest explanation. I have a husband and a dog. And they just, they do their thing and in the car. So anyway. But I'm glad. I'm glad I caught you at the right time. Like, oh, my car is clean, wonderful. Yeah, I would not like my car, both of my cars would not like I would not invite people like I would not pick up anyone from the airport, for example, unless I had like deep cleaning. Like that's how bad it is. So anyway, I hope that no one thinks of me differently after saying that. But Toria I am excited to chat with you today. Mainly because you're not a new entrepreneur, you have you have dabbled in this crazy life for some time now. And, and yet here you are going full circle to, you know, what was your first business to now what you're doing to help with spouses, but talk us talk us through that that initial journey of you even getting into entrepreneurship to begin with?

Speaker 1 2:28

Well, is the interesting story. Because I was like a lot of military spouses, just constantly having to relocate PCs. going the traditional route, you know, with school, you have a school in your background, looking for a job applying, just being overlooked, you know, or taking jobs that you feel like you're more than qualified for, but just to have something to be able to contribute, you take it anyway. And so I was going through that cycle. But at some point, I did secure a really good job working for the federal government. At that time, I had been experiencing like a battle with hair loss for years and years. And so I came upon this training that I went to I you know, you got to make all of the, the accommodations for travel and do all of that. And so I flew to South Carolina because I wanted to take this training to be able to come up with something for my situation as far as my personal hair loss. And it was interesting, because once I got there, and I was taking the training, I saw how the instructor she was teaching that you can actually turn this into a business. And a lot of the other students that were there, they were like hair stylists already kind of in that industry. And so this was going to be like them leveling up in their business. So it kind of got planted because I'm kind of going back to my personal hair last night, I didn't take the training just for me also for my mom, because she has seen your hair loss because of health problems. And so that's how it started to come about. Once I went back to California, we were stationed at California in California at that time, I was still working for the federal government, but I just kind of, you know, made time to really figure out do I can I turn this into a business? And that's how it kind of all started.

Jen Amos 4:17

Yeah, that's that that's so interesting. Like you were really doing this out of the love for your mom and of course with your situation. And who would have thought that, you know, this person would be like, Oh, by the way, there's a business side to this and you wouldn't you didn't even go in there thinking that you were going to have that thought in your head walking out, right? Yeah, that's just I love that. It's just it's like, it's kind of like falling in love where it's like you just sometimes you just don't know. Like if it's like if you try too hard to find some find love like, like you can't find it but sometimes it just gets you out of nowhere and I feel like this is kind of what happened for you.

Unknown Speaker 4:52

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Jen Amos 4:54

Well, tell me a little bit about Tell me a little more about you know this federal job because it's Don't like it was a very important job for you and your husband. But also there was there were some challenges trying to maintain this job. Is that correct?

Speaker 1 5:08

Yes. And even going into that, because I had actually applied for that job, maybe about a year and a half before I even heard anything back. And so I was kind of like going on about my business, and then I received an email. And so how it was kind of set up was that I would be like a temporary fill in, in the for like clerical services. So anytime someone wanted to take leave, or you know, they have like, these leaves cycles, where you have to have someone doing like the clerical side, they would need someone to come in and fill in. So it was like intermittent, that's what they call it. So what I had to do, because at the time, I had a young daughter, she was like 10 years old, and then I had my new baby. And I had to figure out, I had to do the math, like if I put her in daycare, I would need to work this many hours per month to be able to pay for her daycare, I at least wanted to break even. And so it just started it took off like that I wanted to get my foot in the door, because it wasn't a permanent position. And sometimes you have to be okay with that. So my plan was just to get get my foot in the door. And lo and behold, at one of the locations where they brought me in, because I think they're, I forgot what to call it at the time. But she was sick, and she was having to have surgery or something like that. And so they wanted me to fill in. And then it's like it started out like I filled in a couple of times. And then I came back and I had to feel important extended period of time. And then another position came available in that office where they were like, I think you will qualify for this. Because you're a veteran, you would get veterans preference, and you're a military spouse. And so they were like, are you interested? And I'm like, Yeah, I didn't even ask how much does it pay or anything? It was like, Are you interested? Um, so it was kind of like, I always have to give credit, I said, That was God's plan, I was obedient. I took something that wasn't that didn't seem promising. But that helped me to get my foot in the door. So I started working for the federal government, I had a permanent position, where every year, I would actually move up on the GS pay scale, until I maxed out at Gs 11. But the problem was, we're military. So we know at some point is going to be time, you know, to transfer to a new location. So what ended up happening was, I just felt like I finally had something for myself. So my husband and I, we sat down, we talked and we agree that he would take one year on a company tour to Diego Garcia. So that's out if anyone knows, like that's out in the middle of the Indian ocean is beautiful, but you know, secluded, so you know, you don't get all the creature comforts. And so he was willing to do that, because at that point, I had sacrificed so much following him and his military career that it was my time and he understood, so it was kind of like a no brainer. So yeah, needless to say that one year went by really fast. And at this time, when he started looking for orders, he was going to be three hours away in San Diego, beautiful San Diego. And so he was like, Okay, are you ready, we need to start scheduling, you know, the movers and all of that stuff. And this is where I had that uneasy feeling again, because I was like, I'm making this money and now we're about to go from like to a tech to income household back to one. Yeah, and I didn't feel comfortable with that. And here I am in a position where I can totally move up and max out, you know, at Gs 11. And that was like the highlight you know of that time for me. And so we agreed once again, okay, he's going to go to San Diego get settled in and then We'll reevaluate. And so in our minds we were thinking it's not that bad because you're only three hours away. So our life became this rotation this cycle of Friday night see we get off from work and try and dry what should be three hours of Nora to Ventura County but what sometimes turn into like seven hours because a track

Jen Amos 9:16

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's no Cal traffic is no joke. No, it horrible

Speaker 1 9:21

you have to time it just right. And even then sometimes you're gonna it's hit or miss. And so he did that for a while and even the troops back down to you know, report on time on Monday morning, he would have to get up super early. And so I would feel so guilty that I would actually stay on the phone with him the entire time. And it was a few close calls to where it just wasn't safe because he was, you know, really tired falling asleep and then you have to evaluate when he did come like what what? He was there physically, but he was so drained. Does that make sense? So Yeah, to a point where it was like, okay, is this really even worth it anymore? So we had to make that decision. And mind you, I had still been working on like building this business on the side. But I was cared for like two kids and two dogs and working a full time job, and also trying to build a business on the side. So it was a lot. And at that time, yeah, it's like, you will suffer and you will keep going and just finding the energy. But once it was in my face, like, Hey, your husband is trying to do this, but it's not safe. That's when God was telling me it's time to walk away. It's time to walk away.

Jen Amos: 10:38

I mean, first and foremost, I, I'm curious, like, what? Curious, are you processed? You know, this moment? We're like, okay, like I know, as a military spouse, it's looming. I'm probably not going to be here forever. Yeah, but like, I guess, how do you how do you work through that, but that realization that this is not going to be forever, even though this is like, and it's and it's almost like bittersweet? Because it's just such a great, it was a great opportunity for you at that time.

: 11:08

Right? Yeah. For me, I think in the moment, when you look at even the first time he took the one year orders, you look at it like, okay, great. I have a whole year. So you just sit in it. And you're just going to do going day to day, not realizing that time is passing by so fast, because now you're occupied with so much. And that one year went by, and then it's like, okay, can we reevaluate this again, because it was just a feeling of not only would you know, to be honest, I felt like my family was suffer. Because now the things that our civilian counterparts get to experience on a daily basis from having a consistent two income household. We were about to lose that. I mean, we were afforded the opportunity to have my kids in gymnastics, swimming lessons, just doing all of these extra things that you have to pay for and have, you know, try and find time to do. And I just felt like, that's going to be taken away from them. And that's not fair. And I think that's where it hurts the most. And then to throw in there for myself as well. It's like I here I am smart, educated, I have something in the I have a purpose as well. It's not to just be a military spouse, I'm gonna support you wholeheartedly. But who am I at? You know, before being a military spouse? What did it what is it that for you wants to do? And when I'm finding my way, here, it is. Okay, due to like military culture and circumstances that's being taken away. So I was on a constant emotional roller coaster. I think that's the best way to describe it.

Jen Amos: 12:45

Yeah. And I would say thank goodness for your faith. Because I think in those situations, it's, it's that it's that mentality of let go and let God like you got to that place where it's not like, I mean, yes, it Yes. Like you want it to do all the things you want it to do and be all the things, but you started to see, like how, how certain things could start to suffer. And so I think it's, I'm sure it was a very, like, humbling experience for you to be like, okay, like, something's gotta give, you know, I want to take care of my family. I want to make sure my husband's okay, you know, I don't want him to do this three to seven hour drive every weekend to see us back and forth. You know, like, like, something has got to give and, and yeah, I imagine that it's, you know, it, it affects, I'm sure it affects your pride in a way to be like, okay, but like this job, but then my family. So like you said, it sounds like it sounds like it was like a roller coaster of emotions at that time.

: 13:39

Absolutely. That's the best way that I can describe it. But also, like you said, let go and let God what God was also teaching me is to have faith, if he positioned me and put me in place to learn that, hey, this is something that was a problem for you as far as having hair loss. And you went and you took this training on doing the special, you know, what we call it today's world as customized wigs, but in the professional world, and even in for medical purposes, we call it a cranial prosthesis. And so God was showing me, if I purpose you to do this, you have to let go of what's in the natural and what's in front of you let go of that job and stand on faith that I'm going to push you through in that process to whatever to where everything that you feel like you're losing, you're going to gain that back and more. And that's exactly what happened. It took time. There were seasons. But it did happen.

Jen Amos: 14:35

Yeah, that's wonderful. Well, at least at least you didn't have the same story as took a job and everything he went through before he got everything twice over. So let's count our blessings. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so So yeah, that I think that's beautiful to take that leap of faith and to and to actually, you know, go into you've been building this business for a while so so tell us about I'll tell us about how you were building this business on the side. And then and then how did it look like for you when you, you know, when you did let go of your job, and now you have this additional time to work on your business?

: 15:12

Oh, when I say there were seasons to that, there were some some in the valley like, alright, in the darkness, just not, you know, just having to take steps in the dark and just letting like you said, let go and let God Yeah, so, um, what that looked like for me is, I was working on all of the light foundational stuff. And when it came to trying to get clients, that's the part that I was like, so scared and so afraid of like, how do I put myself out there to connect with the people who are having these problems as far as hair loss, and just having this solution to know that I can just change their whole life, you know, um, because it's a feeling that goes with that, especially as women, so I understood all of that, because of my personal situation. But the problem was just putting myself out there to get clients. And so once we set up in San Diego, you know, you got to pack up the house, and then you got to get there and then you got to unload the house and do all of that. And so that's the process in itself. And I think sometimes my my eagerness and my anxiousness to be in a certain place and be a building that business, it would get the best of me. Um, there were times where I had to sit back and just be okay with the situation, we're just still transitioning, because now it's like, yeah, we're here together, but he's on a ship. So he's going to come and go, and then you got to create, like a certain system in order in the house as a single what feels like a single parent all over again. And so there were times where I didn't, I felt like I should have had more time to work on what I wanted to do as far as building this business. But like we say, hindsight is 2020. Again, you got we'll take you through things to where he will teach you patience, because when you're trying to figure it out for yourself, you're taking a long way to get there. When if you don't allow him to order your steps, you're just moving one step at a time. And it happens when it's supposed to. And so I got to learn that tough lesson, because you you just look at what you want to do. And then you don't realize like it takes time and patience to get there. All you know, is you want to go from here to here. And it's like how do I do? You know, not thinking about in between, there's going to be all these little squiggly lines and winding roads and you know, trials, tribulations frustrations, just a bit of everything.

Jen Amos: 17:46

Yeah, I think like, I think part of being an entrepreneur is accommodating life, you know, and accommodating. You know, like, yeah, just it's like, yeah, it's accommodating life, in a sense, where it's like, okay, you have these goals, you have these clear goals, like entrepreneurship, ideally, should be a linear path, but it's really not, there's a lot of winding roads. And, you know, I think about this side business I have with my friend, it's like, it's more like a passion project that we're trying to turn into a business. And it's been taken a while to get off the ground only because, you know, my friend is going through some personal issues. And, you know, they just keep, like, she just keeps constantly apologizing. She's like, I'm just so sorry, like, I have this going on, I have this going on. And I said, Hey, you know, first and foremost, like, you have your, you have your daytime job, I have my business with my husband, like, we our bills are getting paid. Like, we just, we just gotta trust the process. We know we want to be we know we want to grow this project, it's just gonna have to, you know, be at a pace that was not expected. And that's okay. Like, like, I think that's what I've also had to learn to as an entrepreneur, like, I think that when you're in this life, it's easy to have destination addiction, you know, kind of like, I just want to get there already. I just want to, I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't make the certain amount of money, I should have accomplished this already. When I feel like even for myself, and I continuously learn this, where it's just about for me, I've learned to find like purpose in the present joy in the journey, and blessings as I build that's a that's a mantra. I say. So, purpose. Yeah, well, it's all recorded, so you can re listen to this later. Yeah. So I love to say, Yeah, purpose in the present joy in the journey and blessings as I build, and it just really helps me like, recognize that like, like, my, like, I'm, I'm doing something meaningful right now. Like, it may not be the final product, but like, it's, it's really about embracing that journey. And at least, you know, at least was what I what I tell myself and I gotta tell you, I've definitely have come to a better place of contentment with the journey. Either way, though, like, I work with my husband and he's more futuristic thinking. So I tend to I tend to get anxious when I hear him talk, but like I have to, like, you know, kind of learn to be like okay, recenter or you know, recenter like purpose in the President during the journey, you know all the things. And, and so yeah, I just I guess I just I just bring this up because I, I really appreciate you sharing your journey and and people think I think like the average person who's never been in business thinks that it's like entrepreneurship is like a get rich quick thing. And it's really not like it has so many, like, there's so much to it that like that most people don't understand. So I do appreciate, you know that transparency with your journey?

: 20:27

Absolutely. Yeah. And also, I just would like to add to that, um, I know, for me personally, the reason why God was teaching me patients and teaching me to do this a certain way, is because he was molding me to be able to sit in and feel, again, what other military spouses are feeling, if that makes sense, yes. Because even in like just the intricate details that he gave me and how to build this business, I had to keep in mind that, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to move in like two to three years. So what does that look like? Do you want to have clients set up here, and then when it's time to move, it's like, you lose your clients. And then you got to go to this new duty station PPCs and start all over again. And so yeah, I truly thank God that how he was given me the little things and the light bulb will go off, like, Hey, you got to build this towards PCs. And so I created this, like, total 100% presence online, with that business to where I was making wigs, cranial prosthesis, these custom wigs for women all over the United States never met, never had to come to my physical location. And if anybody knows, like, just being able to do something like that, it's so complex. And I have to warn because it's like I you know, I was actually able to do that. But it took time. But oh, yeah. For success in the future, not just in the present. Because had I cater to clientele based off of our location at that time, it would have been this continuous cycle on repeat. Okay, you PCs. Yeah, you gotta hustle and bustle to get new clients at that location. And thank God, I didn't have to do that.

Jen Amos: 22:14

Yeah, I mean, it's great that you had that forethought to be like, okay, you know, as a military spouse, like, I'm only going to be at a certain place for two to three years, how do I kind of transcend my business in a way where it is not impacted geographically, like it can be done? So? I mean, I think it's incredibly impressive. And you should toot your own horn, that you have built a completely online presence that is profitable. Like, I think a lot of people aspire to do that. But like, but it sounds to me, you pulled it off, you did it. And, and you're able to automate your business where like, serve your clients in a way where it doesn't matter where you live? And I'm curious, what was, I'm curious, like, like, I think I'm curious about not asking for your secret, but like, but like, you know, more like, what did you realize you had to learn that you didn't know yet? Or I guess when you maybe you realize this in order to like build an online business? It? Does that make sense? Like, what did you have to learn real like, Oh, this is so different from doing something locally, like I'm gonna have to learn something I've never learned before to build an online presence.

: 23:22

Well, this kind of goes hand in hand with, whether you're building an online business, or you're catering to clientele that are, you know, in your same location, is that you have to have the mindset of speaking to the problem. And so even if you're like, you know, even if I just want to start something new here, where I'm currently located in San Antonio, and I said, Okay, this is going to be a business where clients come to me, Well, how are they going to know where I am? And once I'm putting myself out there, what's going to make them connect to me, and choose me over the person over, you know, the hundreds of other people who are doing this in this area? Or you know, what's going to make them decide to go with me versus the person that they're already going to? And so when you were asking that question, what the word that immediately came to my mind was, make yourself vulnerable. You have to understand your market of people that you want to help because you're providing the solution to a problem that they have. And so for me, it was my own personal experience with hair loss. Now if you can imagine I wanted to create something to hide that from the world. But in building this business, God showed me that I had to be vulnerable and put myself out there and talk about the problems talk about how it affects my confidence, you know, go as deep as saying, Hey, I missed out on you know, events, I didn't go to Navy balls, you know, certain ceremonies and different things because I didn't have anything to make me feel comfortable and have confidence dealing with my hair loss. So once I found that solution for myself, it Slide. Now I have to circle back. And in order to build this business and make it successful, and be online and have that online presence, I have to speak to the problem. And I have to be vulnerable. And I have to show people what I hide and what I go through. And here's the solution. Yeah, that was tough. That was tough. It's like, think of like, one of your biggest secrets that you have. Yeah. And then you figure out a way to deal with it. And now it's like God, then that's going to be your business, because other people have that secret, too. And I want you to share that secret with the world and then share with them the solution you came up with.

Jen Amos: 25:43

You're like, you sure. You want me to get my skeletons out of my closet? Okay.

: 25:52

That's exactly how I felt the most vulnerable thing, you know, that I was dealing with. And it let me just go as deep as to say, I had heard that from my husband for all the years that we had been married. Wow, up until I took that training, my husband never knew I had hair loss. Never know. And I had to disclose that to him, because I was fighting so hard to get to that training. And you know, you when you got kids, you can book reservation, hotel reservations, rental cars, flights, and then just go and spend time and then he's like, like, wait a minute, what are you doing? No, you have to make it make sense. And I had to stress the importance of that for myself because of the hair loss that I was dealing with. And so I've talked about all of this, even on my platforms, and that's what helped me to get the clients and make that business as successful as it was because I shared my story. I talked about all of that.

Jen Amos: 26:50

Yeah, I think that, you know, there's nothing more powerful, or it sounds like there's nothing more powerful than like to share your deepest, darkest secret cow, it's all leather say. And, you know, I think that with even just talking about online presence in general, people like to be polished on their, they like to, you know, show themselves to be a certain way, but it's refreshing, it's a breath of fresh air, when you have like yourself, say, hey, this life isn't easy, you know, like, this is how it affects my confidence. This is why I have the balls, you know, it took me this long for my husband to actually like I got away with it. Like he had no idea up until recently. And so I think that's a that's really amazing. The the growth, and I guess the the sense of responsibility, you had to serve your clients, and part of that was allowing yourself to trust that your vulnerability was going to be used for good,

Unknown Speaker: 27:51

right? Absolutely. Yeah.

Jen Amos: 27:54

Yeah, I'm still I'm still fixated on that. Like, imagine you had a secret. And then you solved it. And then you have to share it. Like that's, that's still where my headspace is. I was like, Yeah, I kind of think about that. Because that's like to think if I were to do that, and like I'm thinking about my deep secret, or deepest, darkest secrets. Why would I want to build a business out of that? Probably not. But then again, that's probably why I'm not as successful as I should be.

: 28:18

Like that. Yeah, sometimes guy. Yeah, just those things that you just want to hide from the world forever and be okay with it. But he teaches you is not okay. Because in your suffering, you found a solution. And it's selfish for you not to share it with others who are suffering from the same problems.

Jen Amos: 28:35

Yeah, well said. Well, um, let's go ahead and talk about how, in focusing your efforts on helping military spouses, I know that being involved with the Rosen network had really helped you. So tell us about what it was like going through the Rosi networks, services SEO program.

: 28:54

Okay. Oh, gladly. I'm always excited to talk about that. But for me, for in order for it to make sense. Let me just go back just a little bit to come here. So it all comes together. In that first business, I ended up doing a whole lot of different things, you know, to what we call like, diversify your income. So you're not constantly having to work, you know, in the business and you can work on the business and so I started doing like different different things as far as like teaching other people how to do what I did, doing it in person at seminars and workshops, and also creating online courses. And so in that I was able to help students like all over the world, and that just it just blew my mind just how having an online presence and the power of what's in your pocket because remember, I was telling you, I started out recording those videos with the iPhone five is I think it was yeah,

Jen Amos: 29:49

that is an old phone by the way, in case anyone doesn't know if you if you have no memory of it. It's an old phone. So yeah. Because I'm old. You No, no, no, just just not, you

: 30:04

know, I was able to do all of that I was able to create, like mentorship and coaching services to work with, you know, clients like one on one no matter where they were in the world. And so I created this framework, not knowing that I was going to be able to take that and use it, you know, as I was transitioning into a different business, that God also gave me the vision for it, which is helping military spouses. And so it would be like God gave me that idea, like, a whole six years before I was able to circle back and he was like, Okay, now it's time to talk about patient, right patients. And so I was able in, you know, going through different seasons PCs thing, just still working that business. And then it got to the point where a guy was clearly showing me it was time that I needed to go ahead and pursue helping military spouses do what I had done, not specifically like, you know, learning to make wigs or, you know, servicing client cancer clients or anything like that. But the framework of how I built it to where it was PCs proof. And I did that in a way that it was like, you can take any idea, any passion hobby, or an expertise, like you can do that and build a business and make it PCs. So while we speed up to I would say, towards the end of last year, that's when the idea came back. And it was like this time, you have to shift into helping military spouses do exactly what you were able to do. And so at that time, I don't know how I came across the Rosie network. But I would just say it was meant to happen. It was meant to happen. Yes, I had applied for the program, I looked at all the details of you know how it worked. And I was like, Yeah, this sounds like something that I really need. Because, like, I don't have time to waste. I don't have time or money to waste like I'm gonna do, I'll do what I know how to do. But sometimes you need a refresher, especially when you're starting over. And I felt like that was starting over with this new business venture. Yeah. And so I signed up, I apply for the program, and it came just in time. So what I really liked about it was that how it was spaced out. Because if you're building a business, you need time to think you need time to plan, you need time to implement, you know, get certain things done to keep progressing. And I love how they had a structure. You know, some people will look at something and be like three months, I let me find if I can see if I can do it in like a week or two weeks. But oh, yeah, I know that things take time, especially if you want to do it the right way. And so when I signed up, just I was so happy, I was so anxious to get started. And in that there were moments where you were really being trained to think, like if you're building a business, this is your baby, this is something important to you, you're going to be helping somebody who needs what you have to offer, you have to put a lot of time effort and thought into that. And so I love that about the program, just having that coaching that they had available every single week, having the homework but being instructed on how to complete everything. And at the end of it you have like you just feel like the gratification is just like, Oh my God, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, this was amazing. This was exactly what I needed when I needed it. And it was parts of the program that I didn't even think about. I didn't even feel like like had I had to figure that out on my own. If it was like a checklist. I was like, No, I probably don't need that and just check off other stuff. But when you went through it and how they explained it, you will see why you needed to do certain things. It all makes sense. Yeah, so I am ever grateful for that. Because, you know, even though I had just the foundation in the framework from building that first business, and even though it was successful, when you're starting over, sometimes you forget, like all of what you really need to do. And it's a different time, like years ago, so it's a different time. And so even though the program is structure is up to date, with you know, currently things will remain the same when you know building a business, but over time, some things are going to change. And so it just helped me so much.

Jen Amos: 34:32

Yeah, yeah. I mean back to basics. There's some there's a couple books that I've been rereading from, like 15 years ago, like not sorry, no, 10 years ago, 12 years ago, somewhere around there. Were like when I was first getting into business and sales, and I decided to reread them and it's crazy because it's like, it's like, Oh, I know these stories. But I know these stories. I know these lessons. I know these tips, but some I forgot. And then And then secondly I'm a different person now, you know, I've gained so much experience from when I first started, like back then I was just trying to absorb everything and try to apply. But now it's like I've settled in, I'm a little more wiser and more experienced, and maybe not like, you know, I'm not I mean, yes, I still continue to fail forward. And that's, that's important too, but like to be able to, like, go back to basics and, and be reminded of, you know, sometimes the basics are like, what you, you know, are more important than anything else. So I think that's amazing how you were able to have that full circle experience from like, your first idea to now evolving it as the new version of you like as, as the as the wiser, more experienced person that you are today. And I, it's great to hear how the rosary network was just so meticulous and making sure that you learned a lot of the things that you needed to learn and things that you didn't even know existed or that you didn't even realize you had to do. And so I think that is, you know, such a such a beautiful, such a beautiful like realization and for you to be where you are today. Because I know that it's one thing to like, run a business on your own. And, you know, sometimes it takes sometimes it takes longer than a maybe it should, but to have like something like the Rosi network to help you think more critically and to think with direction. I think it's priceless.

: 36:23

I totally agree. Yeah. And another thing I wanted to add in is the fact that you have others in the group, you're going through it with a group. And I like to say those were my business besties. Because you can talk about business ideas to you know, other people. And if their mind, if they don't have that same mindset, it's not something they're pursuing. It's like it goes over their head, they don't get as tight. When you get that business bestie that knows exactly. Like, why you're so excited even about the little things to the victories. That's just like, Oh, my God, it's amazing. So to be able to go through it with a group of other, you know, women, it was all women in our group. That was a voice loud. Yeah. I know, you can't see.

Jen Amos: 37:16

That, you know, it's, um, what I what I love hearing about your story is, in a way, like I say, this phrase a couple of times when I hear stories like this, but it's like you turned, like you turned your pain into your passion, like what you did with your story of hair loss, and then your story as a military spouse, you like married the two, you know, in a way and and to be able to help the community today, I imagine is a very fulfilling and freeing experience, because I know that with, you know, the videos and tutorials and the mentoring and all the things that you do. I mean, could you could you have seen yourself where you are now versus like, when you were working that government job? Could you even like, isn't that isn't that doesn't that feel like such a lifetime ago now?

: 38:00

Yes, it does. It does. Like the transformation right before my eyes, even in watching, like some of the old online courses that are created, just hearing my voice and everything is my oh my god. But in that I know, the challenges that came along with that, as I said before, just showing up having to put yourself out there. And I seen as a result of breaking through that fear, how I received so many blessings, and my blessings came in being able to help all the people that I wanted to help. And so by making myself vulnerable, showing up, I was able to get those clients and then return now when I work with someone, and I see like, how they're shy and hesitant and you know, not wanting to do certain things, I always ask the question, is it because of fear? Fear is good, but is it because you're like, you're just scared and you don't want to do it or you're scared and you know, you need to do it. Right? I mean, sometimes you don't want to do it and you know, you need to do it. But sometimes we know like, also it's not the time, so I'm hesitant to do something but I also know this doesn't feel right. It's not the time. So I always say if you're fearful and you know it's something you need to do, you just don't want to do it. We're gonna have to break down, break that down and and figure it out. Because on the other side of that is your blessings. And though when I watched the old me compared to me now how I've just transformed and I blossom, I had like tools and resources like other mentors and the Rosi network going through that program to help me get comfortable, you know, to be able to do this and so when I see in in clients, I know exactly what to do and what to say, to push them forward and break them out of that. But I also realize sometimes when I need to just pull back back and just let it be give it time. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah. It's kind of cool. Just seeing myself like, you know, some people are like, Oh, I hate seeing myself on video. I know. I'm good with it. I see. I see my growth. I see. Yeah.

Jen Amos: 40:17

Yeah. And I think for me, when I do video, I tell myself, like, it's not about me, it's about the message that's coming through me anyway. You know, people care more about the value that I'm offering. I mean, if they have to critique me, sure, whatever. But like, I hope you get value out of it regardless, but I hear I hear you where it's like, even in your situation, it's like, well, I'm able to see my growth like, this is amazing how far I've come. And I think that's really, really beautiful. Toria Well, let's talk about let's talk about life today. Give us a snapshot of, you know, what life looks like for you.

: 40:53

Oh, my goodness, though, when I say everything kind of jump started with his new business venture, helping military spouses It started last year when it came back. Now, mind you, back in 2017, when I was still working with like, predominantly like cancer patients. And those who had like little to severe hair loss guide gave me this vision about this book that I needed to write for military spouses. And so I had like the chapters and everything. So I just pulled up a Word document, and I just typed everything that I had, you know, that was given to me. And so you speed up to that was 2017, like February? Yeah. And I still have it. I have it because I emailed it to my mentor too. So like, I got received. Yeah. And I try I kept trying to go to that. And it was like robot robot robot? No, no. So 2022 is when God brought me back to it. And he said, It's time to write the book. And so I had this idea, like, oh, this can be easy, because I've done it ebook before my first business. So I can just go in Canva, create blah, blah, blah. And I was like, No. Way. He kept saying no, but he gave it through, he gave it to me through my husband, because when I said that to my husband, he was like, Why are you just settling for an ebook? That's easy. Why not publish the book? And I'm like, well, because that takes time and money and a lot of work but

Jen Amos: 42:18

more official, why?

: 42:21

Like, what isn't it worthy of that? And I had to think. And so now, here we are, and I'm put in kind of like this uncomfortable situation all over again, where I recognize I have to have patience, and I have to be obedient. And I have to allow God to order my steps. And then I can sit back afterwards, where Hindsight is 2020 and recognize why. So when you ask what's going on today, I am probably about 90%, done ready to officially launch that book. Hopefully, I'm just gonna say summer, we're still in summer. Yeah. And it's basically the title of the book is called the homefront hustle. And it's, you know, it's all around, stop shadowing, and start doing so we we walk in the shadows of our service member. And we just have like, all of the behind the scenes stuff where the glue that keeps the puzzle pieces coming in, you know, going together, making it work making it function, and we lose ourselves. And so this is teaching you, like I said, how to take anything that you may have a passion or a hobby like I actually I seek out military spouses that have a business when I'm looking to purchase something. And one thing that I purchased last year was one of those custom cutting boards for your kitchen, like Oh, and now I'm a military spouse. And when I got it, I was totally like the gears started turning like, oh, my god, does she know how she can take this and make this a PCS proof business and just have different streams of income and just do all these different things. And it's funny, because she did respond to one of my social media posts as though like because I was talking about having a PCS proof business. But I said all of that to say the book is basically taking my experience with our first business. And how I was able to take something so complex, and make it PCs, and then I'm giving them the framework of how they can take something they may not already have like an idea. But if they start thinking, we all have something we can share, we all have a gift, it could just be something a hobby that they have, and they can turn it into a PCS group business. Because a big part of writing that book, it required me to do interviews with military spouses. And so I went to view like 15 to 20 military spouses to hear their story and just solidified it because so many of us are suffering in silence because we sit home and we lose ourselves and we're just like, This can't be it. It's especially if you're serving your your husband or you know, whoever you're with, if they're looking to retire, and you're new to being a military spouse, and you're sitting there as like, Is this my life? This is not what I signed up for, you know, sometimes when you marry military, you don't know. Like, it's like in the black and white fine print down there. All the stuff that you didn't sign up for, but you don't know until you're, you're like, thrown in the middle of it, and trying to figure it out. And so I was like, Yeah, this, this book is long overdue. So I'm just so excited to launch that finally, like, finally get it out to the world. And I just, you know, my hope is just to be able to help so many of these women that are suffering in silence, that's the best way. That's the best way to say it. They're suffering in silence.

Jen Amos: 45:49

Yeah, I just, I really love this reoccurring theme of like, old projects coming up again, and like, you know, like finishing it, like finishing the project, you know, and you're able to do that with your first business. And now you're able to do that with this book. So I'm, I'm excited for you. And I'm excited to hear when it comes out. And I just, I'm just, it's just great to, like, kind of be a witness of your overall excitement of this whole experience and the passion that you have for your business, and especially for the military spouse community. I do want to make sure that I do want to make sure that we cover everything you want to share on our show. And so do you have any, like final things you'd like to share to our military community? Or, you know, to military spouses, specifically, whether they're entrepreneurs or not?

: 46:38

Yes, I would like to say, you know, and I feel like I can speak on this, because I've been on both sides of it. You know, I was actually in the Navy, before I met my husband, we met like a couple of months after joining. And then after we met, we got married a year later from then. And then I ended up getting out the military. And I've been by his side up until the day that he retired. So I was with him, like his entire military career. So I've been on both sides of it. I know how being married to military can be stressful. There's parts of it that we don't understand. We don't like. And I got to the point where I will always say, I don't like it. But I understand because it was like I want to was in the military. So I understand. Yeah. And I hate to say it like this, but it was it was times where I felt like I had to just kind of give in and say okay, I know my place because you're married to the military. And I'm just a side chick. Oh, wow. And I like it. But I understand. Yeah. So there's challenges that comes with being married to military, but you have to have great communication. And like I say, as a spouse has been through it, through everything, an entire career. Communication was key for us. We struggled together, that made us closer, we always dependent on each other, we never let outside forces into our business like that. We just do it on communication. And so not saying that it was all like rainbows and sunshine, you know, sometimes it's gonna be the head butting, and, you know, the disagreements, but just finding a way to communicate something to where it can be receptive. And I'm speaking from experience, these interviews that I was able to do, I heard a lot of military spouses say they feel like they're not being heard. What how they feel, and then they feel like, it comes off as if they're being selfish, and they're not grateful. So that's, that's kind of the advice that I would give, you have to find a way to communicate that so that is receptive, you want it to be received, don't fight to be right fight to be heard. And then find it to be heard. You gotta you can't go into it, you know, and I like to say eyes rolling next. Snagit not you can't go into it like that, because you want to be. So I'm, that's my part of the best advice that I can give because I know there's different conversations that should be had and military marriages that aren't had for those reasons, you know, and so, I just, it just really bothers me that a lot of spouses are suffering, feeling like they're not understood, they're not being heard. And then when they speak out, you know, other outside forces, kind of like okay, here's where I'm going with this. Sometimes when they get on social media, they kind of get direction from other military spouses. They're being told like, Oh, you're just ungrateful. You're complaining, Oh, gosh. Yeah, that's not fair. And you have to be careful what you want. Now into your home by way of social media and into your mind. So, you know, sometimes you're going looking in the wrong places to fix a problem in your house, it starts with you, you just got to find a way to communicate. And I know it's cliche, but you got to pray.

Jen Amos: 50:16

Yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm also in general, social media probably isn't the right place to put good thoughts in your head, if anything? I mean, yes, we need online presence, and we need to, we need it for online business. Also, on a personal note, you know, for personal reasons, it is important to, you know, be mindful how to discern that kind of advice and like you said, not let it impact your you know, your household.

: 50:40

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have to have thick skin, because there are, you know, people like myself, and I'm sure people like you, if there's something posted online, where they're asking, they're going through something and they're asking the question, and you totally have the answer for it, you know, you'll jump in and get the best advice that you can, but then there's gonna be those trolls and those other bitter, you know, or, you know, they're going through stuff, or they just look at things differently. And they're gonna come with their negative comments as well. So you just got to, kind of like you said, you know, discern and just be able to maneuver through, like, the stuff that you don't need to take in and take from it. What makes sense. So yeah,

Jen Amos: 51:17

yeah. It's like a it's like a buffet, you know, pick, pick what's best for you? Yes. That's what social media is a big buffet. Yes, farmers market? I don't know. Just a lot of people selling a lot of things. But yeah, well, Tori. I have, I have, I have really enjoyed our conversation today. I really want to thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. And you know, your entrepreneurial journey. I think it's incredibly exciting. I think it's incredibly inspiring, like the grit and the faith and the resilience that you have. It shows, you know, and I'm just happy that you you are using your gifts to help other military spouses, especially the ones who feel like they're, you know, suffering in silence, which is, which is sad, because military spouses are the cornerstone of our military families. And for them to feel like for them to feel that way to feel insignificant to feel like they're under someone else's shadow. It's hard. It's hard. So it's great to see like, it's great to see, you know, spouses supporting each other. And obviously, that's something that you take a lot of pride in, so Well, Tori, I guess I guess that's it. I really want to thank you so much for your time. Thanks again for being on our show.

: 52:35

My pleasure. I am super excited that you hit me up to do this. And anytime in the future. Just if you think of anything and call on me. I'm here.

Jen Amos: 52:46

Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, you're part of the whole now the Ford family now, so it might just happen. And to our listeners, thank you all so much for joining us. You know, stay tuned for the show notes are actually I'm going to stop this part. I'm going to record this later. So let me just wrap this up here. Okay, awesome. Torian. For your time and to our listeners. Thank you for listening. We will chat with you in the next episode. Tune in next time. And then give me one second